Even In Death I love you
by GhostNox181
Summary: Fang dies and Max goes slightly crazy when she realizes she loves him. songfic. one shot. kinda depressing.


**A/N This is kinda tragic and depressing but I liked the song and I need something depressing so enjoy!**

**The song is Even in Death by Evanescence.**

It had been a year. One horrible, depressing year. I hadn't expected it to happen. I couldn't handle life after it did though. I sent the kids off to live with their parents. Their biological parents.

I trudged through life these days. There was no reason to live. The emptiness in my heart had blocked out any emotion. I was, in all meaning of the words, lifeless. Empty. Dead. Alone.

_Give me a reason to believe  
That you're gone_

I didn't believe it at first. I stood there, staring, while Iggy tried desperately to pull me away. I limply went with him. They made him a grave. I've tried to find it. Unsuccessfully.

I went into a full out rage when it finally sunk in that he wasn't coming back. I cried, I screamed, I hit anything that came too close. I through the temper tantrum of a lifetime. And then, I went silent. Not a word. Maybe it would keep me close to him. Maybe I could stay tied to him somehow.

I found it today. His grave. It's tidy, kept clean and neat. I appreciate them doing that for him. But it's not the same. I knew they didn't want me to find out where he was buried. But I did. He was my best friend, if I wanted to find it I would. And I did.

It's dark, hardly any moonlight. Just enough to illuminate the poorly written words on the rock at the head of the grave.

Here lies a member of the flock.  
A friend to all, brave, quiet  
Missed

It's windy, and cold. I'm only in a t-shirt and jeans. But I don't care. I don't feel it anymore.

_I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay  
they took you away from me, but now I'm taking you home_

I lay down on the ground on my side, right on top of the grave. I finally found it, I wasn't moving. My arms were numbing and the wind ripped through my jeans. But I didn't care. I was at home. Finally.

_I will stay forever here with you  
My love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on_

It started snowing. Flakes drifted down from the heavens, coating me in silence. But still I lay there, unwilling to move, no longer connected to this world. The silence deafened, but I made no move to break it. I would not get up, I would not leave him, as he left me. I would stay here, I would do anything I could to be here, with him, for as long as I could.

Not even the gods could tear me away. I was rooted here, as much a part of the earth as he was. I would not leave him, so if he must stay here, than so must I. If I sat still long enough, I could hear his voice, echoing through the memories like a ghost. They haunt me, creeping in the back of my mind. But I refuse to let them go, despite the torture they might issue upon me.

_Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love  
But no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love_  
_They don't know that you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me_

He promised me, you know. That he would never leave me again. But he did. He did leave me alone in this world, without even a goodbye. No warning. And for a year, his presence eluded me. But I found him. And as I lay on the ground, my lips blue, my hands and arms frozen, the snow weighing down on my body like a thick blanket, I listen to his heartbeat in my head.

It plays a soft lullaby, luring me farther from reality. Like a parent to a child, its sings softly in my ears, calling out to me, holding out its arms in welcome. I have to go to it. I must go to it. I cannot be myself if I don't. I don't want to be alone anymore.

_I will stay forever here with you  
My love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on_

I, the amazing, invincible, unstoppable Maximum Ride, have lost that which means the most to me. Even more than my own freedom. I chain myself to him, to stay with him for as long as I can. My heart slows, but I hardly notice. If I stay here, I can be with him. I can stay with him forever. There will be no more of anything threatening to tear us apart.

_And I can't love you, anymore than I do_

I do regret not being able to tell him my feelings. But I'm sure, when I see him again, that he'll understand. He always understands, even if he doesn't like my decision. But I have to be with him. I can't live without him.

I can't bear the thought of spending life years ahead, like I had this past year. In pain. Distraught. Dying from the inside out, slowly, agonizingly. I've been slowly going insane, unsure of every move I make. He wouldn't want me to live like that.

But it doesn't matter. Now, I can be with him forever and for always. Now, we can never be torn apart. Now, the indestructible, unstoppable, invincible Maximum Ride has been beaten. Once known as my worst enemy, I gladly walk into its embrace. The snow creates a cover over me, as I go to join him once and for all.

_I will die, but real love is forever_

**A/N Thanks for reading. Hope you know this goes against all I've ever taught myself. I get so upset when he dies, but I do admit this song just called out to me begging to be written. **


End file.
